i'm so happy, it's like finally, i finally realised, i'm holding on to something that i no longer hold any hope.
maybe maybe, why i'm so into him because i really really let go of everything and have my trust in every atom of his.
but i realised, recently, i'm not me anymore, i'm worse, i'm so affected about them, i wish that they are good together, wish that she will bring him smiles and laughter.
it was yesterday that i really sorted things out, then i realised, it was just not long ago, i think i lost the hope of having him back, i lost the hope of caring him, i lost him as a friend, and i guess, i am extreme in everything i do, i talk about him as if he's still in my life, he's still the one that i'm with, till i no longer know, who i am, please st, i was really this bad, i didnt know how much deep down it was, but i know one effort that i made is that i no longer want to text him or contact him or anything about him, because he no longer treat me as a friend, maybe he doesnt want me to be like affected by him, but no, i'm no longer going to be.
i just wish that, hope that, you can cherish her, maybe she has flaws, a little, but she really and truly likes/love you.
so it was just yesterday, i swayed a little. by things that was happening around. and if it wasnt that yesterday, i wouldnt be a happy kid today, i remember every happiness, every smile i used to have, i was really happy, previously, but now, my laughter, my smiles, are like yes, i'm smiling, i'm laughing but i dont feel that in my heart, just purely a process of my mind.
i hope i can be better every day, all my friends, tried so hard to get through that st, you shouldnt be like this anymore, no more leonard, cross him off my life, yes, i no longer talk so often about him, but i'm so mentally into him. but no more, no more, anymore about him.
i'm so glad, i'm so happy, i'm so blessed, i have all of you, everyone who once cheered me up, who really talked to me, and more, i get to have a lot of new friends, closer.
when they are all in dalian, they still kept me safe, they still cheered me, and who's in sg, they are so supportive, although i didnt act as if i'm like super emo kind, but they really talked to me and make me feel so thankful, dx peeps, this is really this best class, best school, best studio i ever want to be, people i ever want to meet, i ever want to know, and i ever want to care.
no matter what happened, in between, we are always so supportive towards each other, every project, we will stick through thick and thin, i really love dxpd, as a course, as a class or even towards my direction in life.
some point of our sch term, i really wonder if i'm suitable in design, am i so bad, that i cant proceed on, i really hope i got that one percent that can keep me moving, yes i'm moving but i know i'm so affected by him and her.
but now, i really know, i'm good, i'm soooo over him. wow, i really have to thanks that person who give me that thought of letting go, thanks for being the platform for me to move on, i'll try harder in a smart way, not hardworking for the wrong things. hahahahahaa!
i'll protect myself, i'll not fall for anyone that easily, sorry, is nobody! no longer gonna like myself be in this state. ohhhhh, i'm so happy, because i'm once again happy. goodbye nerd, i'm sooooo glad that you found someone sooooo much better, woohoooo, if we ever be friends again, i'll like to listen to your love stories, like a kpo. but nvm, i know it will never happen, so byebye.
